I was once asked by someone if I always treat life like I’m a circle peg pushing through a square hole. As in, if a situation is just not working, do I just keep pushing, pushing, pushing in hopes that it will eventually work? I’m totally guilty. Giving up is lazy. Quitting unthinkable. So I just keep pushing that circle peg hoping it will eventually fit through the square hole.
For years I have wanted to be a runner. And I was. I have run a few half-marathons. I ran one marathon. But every time I built any sort of speed or heavier mileage my body would just break down. I tried everything. This has been on-going since 2012. It is 2017. I’m still dealing with it. Pushing that circle peg into the square hole.
So, I declare here that I quit. I quit running. The amount of stress that is adds, the heart break when things always inevitably begin not to go well. I’m done. I mean I’ll always run, but for now plans, dreams of training for anything longer than a half or 10k, I’m putting on ice.
I took a running break at the end of 2016 and focused on lifting weights instead. Strangely, I had the complete opposite experience than I do with running. It is hard, of course. But I improved rapidly. I love the bar bell. I did not feel like I was pushing a circle peg into a square whole — instead, it just fit.
But of course, when comps were over, I started running again. I still lifted weights as a complement to running, but not as its own focus. And of course, I lost all my strength gained. And then inevitably, became injured from running again.
So all last week, instead of running miles, I mainly just yoga’d and went to my body pump and cycling classes. And this week, instead of running, I’m starting a weight training program. I’ll lift three times a week, go to my body pump and cycling classes of course, and yoga — but running, aside for the running the weight training has me do, well, it has broken my heart too many times and I think it is time to move on.