The One with the Baby News

blogging, books, daily life, Harry Potter, health, pregnancy, running

Ok, ok so it has been almost three months since I have posted and with good reason too!

Things have been going on. And I am very happy to say that all of them are good.

I left you September 5 with some thoughts on working from home. Soon after, I ran Run Woodstock 5k and half-marathon. I ran just ok, actually terribly. I ran that race a half hour slower than I did at Run Legend. I knew it would be harder, but that I was that much slower bummed me out. I felt tired and exhausted. I had no idea why. I thought, perhaps, I was over-trained. This is probably true. I took some time off running.

runwoodstock

Me after the Hippie Half-Marathon at Run Woodstock. Probably pregnant here! 

I focused on teaching and my dissertation. I only have two more classes to teach right now and all my dissertation chapters are approved — I need do some edits and revisions, but I should be able to defend in February!

A little over two weeks after Run Woodstock, I still felt tired and exhausted. I was starting to get a little suspicious. On a Wednesday morning, I asked Bruno if we could pop by a Walgreens to grab a pregnancy test before we went to campus. Later that morning, I informed Bruno that yes, I was indeed pregnant. Very pregnant. Those lines were dark!

I’ll admit that I was surprised, but very pleased. We had wanted to start having kids as soon as we knew that I would have my dissertation done before baby no. 1 arrived, so the timing is very good (especially now that chapter five is approved). Baby C is due next year in early June. I will be waddling across that stage mid-May to get my Ph.D. diploma. Proudly waddling.

I want to be careful about how I write what I say next, especially because I know that I am very blessed and happy to be pregnant. I do not want to seem like I am complaining thoughtlessly or without compassion for women who have been struggling to get pregnant or who have lost babies.

That said, from about three days after I found out I was pregnant until probably about a week or two ago, I was having a very hard time. Normally, I’m an anxious person, but the increase of hormones made me well, frankly, depressed. I felt like a complete mess of vomit for the last several weeks and felt sick all the time. I could barely eat anything, barely cook anything because the smell of anything sent me running (the only running I did) to the toilet or trashcan. I regularly had severe headaches and was exhausted. I know. I know. All of this is normal. Many have gone through this before me and will do so afterwards. I feel silly for even complaining. And I’m lucky, happy, etc., but I would be lying if I said it was not hard.

The little energy I had was directed to prepping for class and crawling to the finish of writing this fifth chapter. I barely did anything else. I have no idea how women who go to regular jobs do it. There was a week that aside for teaching Tuesday night class, I barely left the house because I was afraid I would spend most of that time in a public restroom getting sick. This did little for the depression problem.

Quick shout out to Bruno for taking care of the majority of cooking and cleaning and having incredible patience during this time. Marry a man who, when you are having a meltdown because of how terrible you feel and how you feel bad for having a meltdown for how terrible you feel, surprises you by taking you to get a professional massage that very afternoon. Then, for his birthday, when you regain your ability to function like an actual human being bake him a layered coconut buttercream cake.

I feel better. I only get really sick every three days now, instead of what felt like every hour. Full disclosure: I worked with an orange Home Depot bucket that said “Let’s Do This!” next to my computer for just in case. I still went to CrossFit about 2-3 times a week, but the week before last I started running again. Last week I ran a Turkey Trot 5k. I am cooking again. I went on a full-blown baking spree last week in the kitchen. I’m doing my holiday re-read of Harry Potter. Rejoice! I am starting to feel, at least for now, like myself again. It feels good.

With that said, I’m hoping to finish the 2018 year of blogging and running strong. I am interested to see how running as a pregnant lady goes. It will be a new chapter in my life, one that I’m very happy to begin.

pregnant

xo, Ali

Monday Miles : March 5 – 11, 2018

dissertation, monday miles, running

Well, I was not so sure how this week was going to go. If you asked me on Friday, even, I would have said the miles just were not going to get done. I had been having stomach problems for over a week, visits to the doctor, the hospital, a migraine on Monday, and perhaps worst of all, almost no dissertating was done. C’est pas vrais! 

Friday afternoon, I found out the ultrasound was all clear and my bloodwork showed that I was getting over a virus. I did not (and still do not) feel that great, but I was no longer yacking. I felt unbelievably anxious and grumpy. Around four-ish on Saturday, I though I was just going to do what I could to make it happen. I did Wednesday’s 5 miles on Friday, Saturday’s 11 miles on Saturday, and Thursday’s 3 miles on Sunday. It was not pretty. But it got done.

saturdayrun

Saturday Pre-Run Power Pose.

 

3 / 5 : Nothing, nada, zilch. Not necessarily a recovery day, though. I did spend the day chasing down my two toddler nephews.

3 / 6 : 3 miles. IT Band & Core.

3 / 7 : Where everything begins to go downhill.

3 / 8 : I’m dying, Egypt. Dying.” Also, so much time in the walk-in clinic, the hospital, just waiting, waiting, waiting.

3 / 9 : 5 miles on the treadmill. Even though it was fine out, the treadmill just felt safer. This was fine. It happened. 3 x 10 push-ups, 3 x 10 assisted pull-ups, IT Band, and Core.

3 / 10 : I took some time to work as much on my dissertation as I could in the morning and I did something I never do. In fact, I kind of hate doing. I ran my long run in the afternoon. I told myself I only had to do six and could decide from there. Two miles in, feeling bloated, heavy, just blah, I was certain that I was not going to be able to do it. Well, guess what, I did it. It happened. I felt like a walrus the entire time because I felt so bloated and, frankly, exhausted the last two miles, but man, I was in a good mood the rest of the night. 11 miles in average 10:17 mile pace — which, for feeling like hell, felt pretty good to me.

3 / 11 : 3 miles. Slowly trudging around. I was sore. Yoga with Adriene for Back and Hips.

This week was a reminder to quit being so precious. Things don’t have to happen exactly how they are supposed to (i.e. running in the morning, not afternoon) do to get my runs in. I need to (must) apply the same thing to dissertation writing.

xo, Ali

 

 

 

 

Favorite Things : Week of March 3 – 9, 2018

favorite things, running

This week was quiet. I am having my first big hurdle to consistent training and dissertation writing, which is frustrating. I’m not good with plot-twists. I like routine. I like sameness day after day. I’m ok with not doing the usual — as in I watched my nephews on Monday and did zero work — provided that I had plenty of time to harness my expectations that the usual is not going to happen.

I had a great working day Tuesday, but for the past week I have been experiencing some increasingly intensive stomach pain. I’m not sure if it is related to Sunday’s migraine, but I’ve just really struggled keeping anything down. I checked all the possible suspects — not pregnant, no fever so not a flu, etc. Yesterday we decided to go to a walk-in clinic, which led to an ultrasound and blood tests.

The ultrasound came back with nothing on it and I had to re-do the blood tests, but mainly I’m just frustrated. I want whatever it is to be taken care of now. I am so scared that I am not going to be able to run my half at the end of April, lose the little speed gains I have made in the last several weeks of hard-fought consistency. I really, really, really do not want to start over. Again.

And with that panicky introduction, I will leave you with this week’s favorite things:

I loved this piece from Ashley Ford at Cup of Jo so much. I do not have kids yet, but I think about how different it will be to raise them compared with how I was raised. Most likely they will not be milking on a dairy farm before and after school. Considering that both Bruno and I will have our Ph.D.’s by the time we have kids, they will most likely have a very different culture being raised than I did. The differences probably between how Bruno is raised and how our kids are raised are perhaps even more stark –he was a Brazilian immigrant, grew up speaking Portuguese in the house, and even left the states to go back to Brazil during his childhood to return back here. It is just interesting to think about. I, too, like the women in this article fear that my kids my end up “too happy” and not understand struggle and working for what you want.

This shirt.

Productivity advice. Common sense, but I can always use it.

I enjoyed this article on the new rebranding of Johnny Walker as Jane Walker. Frankly, I exceedingly dislike consumerist feminism (as in “buy this because it supports women!”) and this phenomenal article really calls out this problem with the liquor industry: Women, Booze and the Vote

I’ve been making my own sourdough bread, but sometimes I feel lazy. This looks like a good possible substitute.

Hopefully someday I’ll have what I need to be an ultrarunner.

I can hardly go a day without dropping an “f-bomb,” but I really do not like it in writing. Let me rephrase that, I think there are very few writers who can cuss in their writing without it sounding gratuitous or like the writer is trying too hard. Anyways, I guess my f-bomb habit is good for me.

Have a good weekend!

xo, Ali

 

 

 

Insomnia Blues

daily life

I usually keep the hours of 9 – 4, that is, sleeping hours. I like going to bed early so I can wake early. But over the past few months my insomnia has increased. I know when I am going to have a hard time sleeping the moment I lie down in bed. I will be tired, ready to sleep, and relieved when the lights go off. And then? Thump, thump, thump. My heart starts racing.

I might start to fall asleep and then, once again thump, thump, THUMP! I am guilty of, at this moment, turning to Nyquil. But even this has proven to be, in the long-term, an ineffective aid. I took a double dose of Nyquil (don’t try this at home kids!) Sunday night and was still up until about one, heart racing. Then, to top it off, I typically have a Nyquil hangover the next day, brain fog, heaviness, a sort of dull lethargy.

The frustrating part of all this is that it is throwing off my consistency. Sunday night I made a schedule for every day this week because I was feeling behind. I wanted to feel in control. I wanted to have a plan. And of course, life laughs right back at me, because instead of waking up at 4, I woke up 4 hours later with a Nyquil-induced brain fog. And sure, I was able to get most things done. I even made a lemon drizzle cake. BUT, I hate that feeling of not being at 100 percent.

Last night I fell asleep fine and then hello 2 a.m.! I laid in bed for an hour and then just gave up, made myself some coffee, and plopped myself on the couch for the morning routine. I will be exhausted later. And then will repeat the cycle probably again tonight.

I also try to do the things. I do not drink coffee after lunch. I take magnesium before bed. For Lent, I have given up alcohol, as penance, but also to see if it helps my sleep and anxiety. But then again, I am also guilty of doing all the wrong things too, mainly in that I love my screen time. The television is in the bedroom. I check my phone (Instagram!) frequently before bed. I am not doing all I could.

Tonight I am going to try to quit looking at my phone after seven. I will try not to fall into the routine of Hulu-n-chill (Happy Endings!) before bed. And hopefully, tonight, I will sleep, because I do not think I can stand another day of this.

xo, Ali